Charlie Brown

Tonight there was way to much competition for my attention in terms of Halloween TV. I had to pick between Hocus Pocus, some real scary movie (like Halloween XVII) or It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown. Of course, when I saw that last one, it wasn't even a contest.

I love the Charlie Brown specials, all of them. Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown is obviously a classic. But, the Great Pumpkin is my favorite. Mostly because I am Linus, sitting in the pumpkin patch all night. I am that kid whose imagination carries them away, whose optimism is undaunted. Maybe that's why I love Halloween so much, because isn't that what it's all about?

I get that, for my age group, Halloween is all about the sexy factor. This bothers some people. I'm not going to hate on sexy costumes because: (1) been there & done that and (2) really, as long as you're over 18 and under 400 el-bees, what's wrong with showing a little leg on Halloween? It goes along with the whole pretending thing. That being said, I truly appreciate a well-thought-out, homemade costume. My affection for a self construction probably dates back to the days where my mom handmade my incredible Halloween costumes. I was Maid Marian when I was about 9 (that costume lasted years in the dress up bin). I was a Bobby Soxer in the 5th grade (that one was so awesome it got borrowed/stolen a couple years later). When I was 14 (that's right, my mom made my costume when I was in the 9th grade) I was a gypsy and my mom sewed handkerchiefs together to make a skirt for me. Who wouldn't love Halloween when it came with things like that?

And did I mention I love candy? And scary movies? And haunted houses? And carving pumpkins?

I just spent 25 minutes looking for my favorite Halloween book online, signed up for a trial membership of Amazon Prime to save on shipping, and mailed it to M. Just spreading the spooky love!

This is it, The Candy Witch. It's not in print anymore, but if you've ever read it I'm sure it's stuck with you (if just for the scene with the lemonade fountains and candy filling the town square. Just remember, if you find a little bit of candy in your pocket, it was probably this little witch!

This weekend I plan to do all things Halloween, and drag M along with me. I'm using this to get into the spirit. Also, I plan on being in costume, even if I'm the only one!

I Want...

I tend to think setting goals is somewhat cliche. Let me preface that by saying: I know a lot of people do it, and a lot of people do achieve the goals they set for themselves. M's dad told me that he set a goal to be a millionaire by the time he was 30, and he did it! I'm not trying to take away from that. But for me, goals tend to be more stressful than empowering. I tend to be paralyzed by timelines and the fear of absolute failure. Today, though, I started thinking about the things that I want in my life. Wants are less anxiety-provoking. Wants are goals without pressure. On some level wants form and drive goals, but they come without the possibility of not making it.

So, without further ado, the first few things I came up with while wandering around my new city:

I want...

...to be a lifelong learner. This might mean being back in school multiple times. This might mean working in academia (though I doubt it). This might mean getting a job that requires re-certification. Whatever it means, as an alumna of Mr. Jefferson's University, I believe strongly in constantly learning.

...a partner. I want a solid, for-life, commitment to another person who I can depend on and who will depend on me. I want to build and share a life with my significant other. I would like to be married someday, but honestly, I don't need that. I think it would surprise a lot of people to hear me say that, but truthfully the foundation is so much more important to me than the paperwork.

...to do more good than harm. I want to use my education to build a career where I'm contributing to my community. I'm off to a good start with my new job. I hope this is the kind of experience that will open doors into the nonprofit or education world.

...to have a child. (Not any time soon, mind you. I'm thinking more along the lines of a decade from now.) I want to raise that child in a home where he or she knows love and structure and stability and potential. I want to be a good mom. I want to be able to put my child through college the way my parents did for me.

...to find myself alone on the beach at least once a year for my entire life. There's a new(ish) song on the radio by Dave Matthews and Kenny Chesney. One of the lines is: stars are dancing on the water here tonight/it's good for the soul when there's not a soul in sight. I know this feeling. I need this feeling. I want it. If I can't have the beach as my permanent residence then I want to be able to rely on a regular trip to re-center.

These are the very basics of what I want for me & my life. There's more that I want, but I think if I had these things I could live happily ever after. I hope so, because as I read over them, these five 'wants' would create a fairly well rounded life.

P.S. I got invited to a party here in my new town! I wasn't around to go to it (bummer) but the point is, I had an invite! After 5 days of living here. Maybe I'll make friends more quickly than I thought :)