Glitter Skulls Are 50% Off At Target

And it's taking every bit of my will power not to buy them out completely.

The first week of November makes me a little sad.

Mostly because I love Halloween like a fat kid loves...well, Halloween candy. (Bet you didn't see that simile coming.)

My mom made me the most stellar costumes when I was growing up. I was Maid Marion, complete with beautiful pink cape and candy-basket-of-wildflowers. I was a cat with the most intricate mask and coolest fuzziest tail. I was a bobby-soxer with a full-circle felt skirt, a cotton ball poodle and saddle shoes. I was a gypsy with a flow-y skirt made out of bandannas. An aside, I have no memory of any store-bought costumes even though I'm sure I begged for one when I was oh, say, an obnoxious 15 year old. (I know, you can't believe I was ever an obnoxious 15 year old. Not because I'm so much older than that, but because I'm so rational and even tempered that you couldn't ever picture me irrational, under any circumstances at any...oh nevermind. Show me a kid who wasn't an obnoxious teenager and I'll show you a bore.)

I attempted to translate my mom's awesome costuming ability into my life away from home. In college we did some awesome group costumes--thank YOU Goodwill. For example, one year we went as mixed drinks: cosmopolitan, jack and coke, Bahama mama. Last year I made myself cardboard bat wings and dressed up even though I was fully planning on sitting on the couch eating spaghetti and watching The Midnight Meat Train. Win.

This year I made myself a witch's hat out of craft foam, bobby-pinned it to a headband, wore some black and went to a caramel-apple-filled happy place. Also known as my friend/co-worker's (am I destined to explain our relationship in these awkward terms forever?) Annual Neighborhood/Family/Friend Totally Awesome Halloween Party.

(I'm crafty. In a I-like-to-craft sort of way. Insert one more Christine O'Donnell joke here.)

Halloween is my soul mate. (Sorry, M.) (Actually, I'm pretty sure he already knows this.)

Always the one to look for a silver lining, the good news is Thanksgiving is just around the corner. I do love to eat. As a matter of fact, I've always loved to eat. Case in point:

(Cookie Monster - circa 1986)

I'm bringing the boy home with me to meet the Fam. The Whole Fam. When you look up "trial-by-fire" in the dictionary there's a picture of my family Thanksgiving. It will be replete with inappropriate jokes, over competitive scrabble games, and food. And you have to eat all of the food. Because, "What am I going to do with all this food when y'all go!?!?" This should be good.