Self Diagnosis

If you've never been an anxious person, you probably have no idea how stressful situations can be all consuming. I am often told (while chuckling) that I need to calm down or relax. I hear, "you need to chill out," all the time. Ususally when someone says this to me I laugh it off with them. "You're right," I say, "I'm fine, just over thinking it." It's easy for me to put it off this way infront of other people. It's easy to say, but this is what it feels like: My muscles hurt (particularly my shoulders and back) because I'm tensed up constantly. I have a lump in my throat, the kind you get when you're going to throw up or cry. And finaly I feel like I'm on the fringes of a migrane all the time.

Here's the thing, these feelings can be brought on by small or large worries. And newsflash: If I've made the effort to actually come out and tell you what's worrying me, laughing at me or rolling your eyes and telling me I'm overreacting is not helpful. I already know I'm overreacting. What I need to hear is that whatever I'm scared of is not going to happen, or will work out, etc.

We all have our own reactions to stress. Some of us have mean moments toward those around us (I have those on occasion), some check out on the rest of the world (yep, done that too), some eat, some don't eat (that's me), some overshare, and some hold it in (I'm in the middle on that one). The good news for me is that I have an incredible support system who know me very well. They (mom, dad, brother, boyfriend, good friends) are incredibly adept at talking me down. Perhaps because they have to do it so often. I'm not always so bad but I definitely have my moments, mostly in times of transistion, where I just need someone to make it better for me. I would have a hard time believing that no one else shares that feeling. I'm trying a new outlet with this writing thing. I'm still in the, "we'll see how it goes," stage.